btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
