Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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