And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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