Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
