Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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