I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
