i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
