also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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