its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
