If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
