I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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