You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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