My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
