Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
