pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
