somebody snuck up and got me drunk
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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