I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
That accounts for only three of the penises
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize