I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
