Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
