nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
