My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think my moral compass just broke
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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