Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
