Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
