ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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