I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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