Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
