You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
