p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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