I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
