Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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