Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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