I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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