I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
