I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
