absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
