I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
What a dumb baby whore.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
