I'm gonna have a badass scar
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize