You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize