i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
