We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
