My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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