i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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