Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize