its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
