my mouth tastes like poor choices
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
