I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
