: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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