we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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