my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
