I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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