you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
