$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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