We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize