All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize