meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Less talking, more tequila
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
