I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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