Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
