whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize