You can't motorboat a personality
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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