They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
