My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
