I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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