ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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