she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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